What does it mean to be confident and how can you build coaching confidence?
I think people often confuse a critical element of what confidence is. Think about the people in your life who you would consider most confident. What about them shows you “confidence”? Is it their willingness to do scary things? Is it their ability to carry on when things get tough? Perhaps you think they’re confident because they’re always positive, even when life is rough? Maybe their fearless spirit when faced with hurdles and unknowns?
There are a million reasons you could think someone is confident but I’m here to tell you that, most likely, you’re completely wrong. What’s more, because you’re wrong, you could be looking up to the wrong people to learn how to be confident!
If that felt like a punch to the gut then fear no more! We’re going to break down confidence right here, right now and get to the bottom of how you can build coaching confidence in your business.
What Confidence Is NOT
Why are you wrong about what makes someone confident? So often confidence is portrayed as someone’s ability to stare into the unknown and take on any challenge without fear. What’s the problem with this definition? There is a key aspect that gets left out and it’s probably the most important one!
Confidence ISN’T self-esteem. Any idea that confidence has to do with how you value yourself or anyone else is missing the big picture. There are plenty of people who struggle with self-esteem that are able to take on any challenge thrown their way.
Confidence also ISN’T about being fearless. Knowing your limits and boundaries is infinitely more important than saying yes to any challenge. Do you want to know a fast way to burn yourself out? Pretend like everything you’re scared of is a mountain you have to climb! Eventually, you’ll wear yourself out climbing mountains that won’t lead to your goals and dreams.
Finally, confidence ISN’T about being bold and confrontational. Being able to speak your mind and be your authentic self is a critical skill to have. Dominating conversations and asserting your authority over others with your opinions is NOT a critical skill. No one wants a drill sergeant to be their coach! Being soft and inviting gives people space and support to grow and change.
What Confidence IS
So that leaves us with the burning question. Would you be surprised if I told you that confidence is ultimately about your ability to rely on yourself and others to solve problems? Maybe you’re not surprised. After all, it sounds so simple when you put it that way, right? Well, like most things the answer usually is simple! The tough part is applying the answer in your life.
Confidence IS about your ability to build relationships that will support you in your goals. Having people to hold you accountable and build you up gives you support to push yourself further while avoiding burnout. Additionally, you can build your skills to make new and uncertain tasks easier.
Confidence IS how you prepare yourself for unknown circumstances. As a business owner you will have to develop a wide, and I mean WIDE, range of skills that will contribute to your business. Bookkeeping, advertising, marketing, social media, email management, client outreach, CRM… The list goes on. If you’re new to coaching, that may seem really intimidating to you. What could confidence look like in this situation? “I’ll figure it out as I go”. Knowing you don’t need the answers right now frees you up to be your fullest and most authentic self. Confidence is knowing that you’ll be capable of finding the answers you need, WHEN you need them.
Ultimately, confidence is your ability to find answers when you need them, trust in your ability to find solutions, seek support when you can’t find answers, and take care of yourself emotionally through the whole process.
How Do You Apply It?
In another blog I’m going to go more in depth in what confidence can look like in your coaching business. For now, I want to focus on how you can begin applying confidence building practices into your coaching business.
Since confidence is all about how you can solve problems, the first and most important thing you can do is prepare, prepare, prepare! Get really clear on what needs to be done in your business. I don’t mean you need to solve everything right now with pen and paper. I mean create a list of all your tasks and order it by priority. Don’t think about answers, just what needs to be done.
Next, take the highest priority task you have right now and think about ways you could build up your confidence to do it. What skills will you need? Is there anyone you can ask to help you with it? Is there someone you could pay to do it for you? Think about the skills you already have the can help you. As you work through this, begin to list out the individual steps you need to follow to complete the task and what problems you may encounter along the way.
This may seem like a very involved process. The first time you do it may take you a while even. The point isn’t that this is some magic key that will instantly give you confidence. Doing this practice repeatedly is how you BUILD confidence. The first time it may feel unnatural and difficult. The second time may feel the same. If you stick with it long enough eventually you’ll start to clear tasks from your to-do list and see how your confidence is naturally growing in your ability to solve your problems.
Building Coaching Confidence
If you want to talk more about building your coaching confidence, then I want to help! I’ve been helping women build confidence and be their authentic selves for 5 years now and I know you can achieve it too! If you’re interested in talking with me about how you can build your confidence book a free call with me today.
